The Silence Is Deafening

Heart beats wildly
Breathing tantric
As I caress
The soft smooth skin
Of your back and hips

My opportunity to be sensual
Erotic
While you don’t defend
Speak negative
Or push me away

You just lay silently
Peacefully
Ready for my touch

Fingertips

I can feel the energy
Radiating from your body
Longing for me

Starving for what you deny yourself
Your soul welcomes me
Hoping you don’t wake
Your body is beckoning for me
To unleash my passion
My desires
And ravage you
Quenching your thirst
My cravings

The fantasy in my mind
As sequences unfold
Stimulating
Beautiful

For in this brief, still and silent moment
You accept my passion
As you sleep
Thru my tender
Loving
Longing
Touch

I close my eyes
And fantasize
Aching
Lost

But reality always comes crashing down on my illusion

You push me away
With a huff
And a puff
So
I lay awake
Hoping you will eventually need me

As I listen to you breathe
And dream…
I want so badly to kiss you
Simply because
I miss
The taste of your lips

But I just can’t handle the rejection

The silence is deafening

Gordes, France

Gordes, France

Au Lieu De

Time spent lost and lonely
Hoping to drown in my tears
I reach out broken-hearted
Gasping, grasping for nothing near

I scrape the walls of my diseased heart
It bleeds bile confusion – feelings
You make it clean
You make it love fearlessly

I breathe my worthless breaths
In lieu of giving up
With it my heart pumps toxins
Daily cleansed by your love

I bleed for you…

St. Remy de Provence, France

St. Remy de Provence, France

Venom

Downward spiral

Black mamba venom

Rippling effect

Narcoleptic paranoid schizophrenia 



(what the fuck does that mean)



I anticipate

To eliminate

The triggers of rage and envy

All I’ve done

Has been overcome

By sickness and tragedy



(silence followed by reflection)



Pinot Noir

Swirls in crystal

Effecting… Infecting

My thoughts and memory

Once again

I fail to finish

What I’ve begun…

This thought…

This image in my mind…

Its potential will never be realized
…
Just like me…



Permission to think freely

Chateau d'If - Marseille, France

Chateau d’If – Marseille, France

Into Oblivion

(This was written by me a number of years ago… He’s still in there somewhere I’m sure…)

I’m slipping into oblivion
Drowning in my sins
Ripping through memories
Hating where I’ve been

The tension…
Haze of confusion
Depression…
Causes bruising

I am who you wish you could be
I have done the things you’ve dreamed
I’m not afraid of anything
I feed on your envy

I’m invincible, unstoppable
You can’t get close to me
I am omnipotent, omniscient
Flawless

This pill
This drink
The fucking thoughts I think
Killing me

My attitude
My dreams
The fucking decisions I make
Destroying me

I never had a chance to just be a kid
Now look at me…

Crisis

It’s the question
The inevitable burning sensation
My repression
Broken thoughts; transgressions

The sins I begin
Commitments I can’t finish
The things I create
As my thoughts diminish

This confusion
The inconvenience of my intrusion
You’re abusing
My mind; this fusion

To break me
Rearrange and erase me
You hate me
Create and remake me

I’m useless
Broken and thoughtless
Bloodless and breathless
Lifeless… My crisis

“Don’t let me walk away…  I’m sorry.

So far away they seem to be
These memories
So hard it may seem to me… I have you

Please hear me”

Marseille, France

Marseille, France

Umbra

My mind has shut down
Like a solar eclipse
My thoughts like winter
Cold and crisp

I stare from the bluff
Unaware of the blindness that will come
I gaze into the darkness
That veils that raging ball of fire
A volatile gaseous conglomerate of particles
93 million miles away seemingly non-existent

A rare opportunity to hold eye contact

In seconds it will melt your retina
Leaving you in permanent darkness
Reflecting on this moment
Basking in the rays of my sun.

Now is your only opportunity…

eclipse